When I started this blog I had wanted to re-do my blog, to focus on fashion. Lets face it…I am not a fashion blogger. I don’t have a tripod, neat-o brick back drop, or appropriately quirky wardrobe. *Sigh*
So as they say…write about what you know. I know failure. Don’t worry dear reader (If your out there?!) When I fail, I do it with flair.
Early this spring I put in a vegetable garden. Working in the dirt, watching plants grow…sounds relaxing right?
My mom* and I started by laying down cardboard and straw to block the weeds. We planted cucumbers, tomatoes, eggplant, zucchini, basil, onions, chives, green peppers, cauliflower, and broccoli.
The battle of the weeds began.
After many weeks of weeding under the hot sun, and sweating my ass off…I started to have ripe veggies!
Last week I walked around the garden to see what was ready. I picked some basil, a cucumber, and some zucchini. I saw that the cauliflower was ready! Yay! I walked around the tomatoes to the cauliflower.
I bent down to grab the head of cauliflower….*BAM*
Ouch! Sting on my right ankle…..
*BAM!*
Left ankle
WTF!
My stunned brain finally caught up. I am being stung by wasps!
Thanks to the Monty Python boys.
*RUNNNNNNNNN!*
I sprinted around my yard screeching in frantic circles.
Two thoughts crossed my mind; 1. Get away from the bees, 2. Keep them away from Cici.
Cici sat across the yard, starring at me. She looked at me like I was a lunatic. Wait…I was a lunatic!
The thing about bees and wasps: they use scent markers. Sound cool huh? Not so much.
When you get stung by one…they mark you. They put the wasp version of a “kick me” sign on your back. So if you get stung. Get the heck out of dodge!
Final wound count: 7
[I will spare you from photos of my pasty white bee-stung legs.]
One on each of my heels (right on the achilles) four on the thigh, and one on the butt.
The following week was itchy, itchy, cranky, and itchy.
So…yesterday I nervously went back in the garden, with Rasputin's gentle prodding.
I began weeding. I was slowly making a loop around the garden. I was finally starting to relax. Things were really looking great.
I was using a hoe to chop down the tall crab grass that had taken over. I was working my way back toward the tomatoes…when I see that the cardboard is puffed up. Huh, that’s weird, there must be weeds pushing it up.
*Chop* with the hoe.
Honey combs and wasps.
S***!
I ran toward the garden fence.
I managed to get my right leg over. However my left got stuck and I sort of just fell over. [Keep in mind that I am only 5’4” and the fence is just over waist high. ]
I sprint towards the house (screeching again) with Cici.
And so continues the war with the ground wasps.
P.S. I also have bruises on my thigh from the fence. I rule.
*A few people were confused by comment about my “mom.” I am not in contact with my biological parents. I do have several great friends that are act as adopted parents. I have two great moms, Sue and Lori. Hope this clears up some confusion!
Ow ow ow! Darned little buggers.
ReplyDeleteExcellent about the veggies, though--fresh tomatoes and cucumbers are like manna from the gods.