You Mess With The Cat, You Get The Hitler...

Frankie, has a shadowy past. [To put it mildly!] We met about 7 years ago at the local animal shelter.

I was looking for a furry buddy. I had gone in looking for a male cat, probably a large black one. After being either brainwashed or hypnotized I left with a small black female named Mandy.

I didn’t know anything about Mandy’s past. [The shelter told me nothing about her! But that is another story] She only weighed 6 pounds, so I had thought she was very young.

WRONG! She was 4 years old when I adopted her.

Sneaky Lazer-eyed cat

Rasputin and I have since learned a lot about her. Some things are cute, some are weird, and well…some are a little disconcerting.

Frankie likes to carry her foam ball in her mouth while marching around the house howling. She treats it like a hunting trophy.

She is quite possibly going senile. She seems to “get lost” in the home. I hear her howling in the other room…and when I call out to her…she runs to find me. ????

Being held is simply unacceptable. I have scars to prove this. Trust me when I say that you DON’T want to see them.

The unnerving thing about Frankie is that….well…I’m not sure you will believe me. Frankie is very racist, and very possibly in the mob.

Rasputin and I like to watch shows on Discovery, and History channel. Every time we watch a program about Hitler, the kkk or skinheads she watches. By “watches” I mean that she literally sits down and watches the whole program.

[At this point I have to note that we don’t constantly watch these types of programs. This has occurred over several years. ]
When we have made negative remarks about Hitler, Frankie squawks at us. If we keep it up, she storms out of the room.

We are now convinced that Frankie was Eva Braun in a past life.

Which brings us to last night. For the last two days I slept in the other room. [I have been having sleeping problems.]

Frankie normally curls up next to me. She didn’t follow me to the other room.

Last night I shut the light off and slipped into bed. I feel a cold wet spot on my back. What the hell? I touch the bed under my back and feel a long…squishy…log.

Frantic...dash...for...the...light…reveals… cat vomit.

She vomited on the bed, (on just my side) and then covered it up with blankets, then vomited on the blanket.

While I was remaking the bed I spotted her in the doorway glaring at me. Apparently the Empress, was not pleased with my changes. 
I believe this her form of a "horse head in the bed."

She got me back for this right after the flash went off.

[The Title is a mash-up of lines from The Venture Brothers, episode: "Love-Bheits"]